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. . . .. .. . . .. . . . NOT!
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(SOUND OF CRICKETS)
WORTH THE WAIT (ARE YOU SERIOUS?): Some of Avril Lavigne’s most dedicated fans spent a chilly night (CHILLY?!?!?! I WAS THERE A WEEK AGO. IT'S WINTER. IT'S FUCKING FREEZING IN TOKYO) camped outside the Gap’s new flagship in Tokyo to catch a glimpse (GLIMPSE?! SHE SHOULD HAVE DANCED WITH ALL Y'ALL WAITING THE SAME UGLY ASS SONG SHE DANCED WHEN SHE GOT MARRIED TO THAT DUDE. IT WAS THAT LAME SONG FROM CITY OF ANGELS. I THINK. "CITY OF ANGELS"... CERIOUCSLY?!?! (WITH A C)of the Canadian musician and snag (SNAG? IF I WAS THERE I'D POOP ALL OVER ONE OF THE...) one of the 200 pairs of limited-edition jeans her clothing label Abbey Dawn designed for the American brand. The first 200 people in line got the skinny dark denim for free (AT LEAST) and they will be the only ones to have them (THANK GAWD IT'S ONLY 200). The collaboration was a one-off affair (DOG WORKS IN MIRACULOUS WAYS) and the jeans won’t go on sale elsewhere (HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAJHAHAHA) . Lavigne, sporting streaks of green and pink in her hair, is in town to promote the release of her new album “Goodbye Lullaby.” She has been tweeting about her press trip, which has also taken her to Hong Kong. “So exciting (YOU LOOK LIKE ANYTHING BUT EXCITED GURL) . My first copy of my CD is the Japanese copy,” she wrote. (AS MY FRIEND LUIZA SÁ WOULD SAY... FROM 0 TO 10 YOU ARE A MINUS 8 RIGHT NOW)
